Thanks to everyone for participating in yet another extremely scientific Dude Whisperer Poll. And don’t let John Zogby give you all that plus or minus 4% margin of error polling is an inexact science nonsense. This sh^t is 100% on the nose. Here’s what you said…
Is a dude’s bad fashion a dealbreaker for you?
Only if it’s, like, smooth jazz bad. 62%
Wait, so about a quarter of women would just look at your mock turtleneck ass and walk away? Sounds about right, actually.
And another 60 percent would walk away if you had on a Bill Cosby sweater? Actually, that sounds about right, too.
So, you were expecting the DW to be horrified by these results? Not so much. Look, the DW isn’t exactly a label whore. He can’t tell an alarmingly expensive pair of dark blue jeans from something off the rack at the Gap. He has no idea any more if his Chuck Taylors are cool again or passé again. He shops for clothes only slightly more often than he rotates his tires. Which is never.
But here’s the thing. If a dude dresses so particularly that his style isn’t just a little inept or sloppy or unhip, but his style is something you would outright call ‘smooth jazz bad’, it really does ask a woman to make some assumptions about him. For instance, take this look. The DW thinks it’s fair to walk away if white boy dreads aren’t your thing. After all, he believes it was Sir Isaac Newton who said, “Where there are white boy dreads, there will be white boy dread behaviors and ideas.” Simple as that.
Dudes, is a woman’s bad fashion a dealbreaker for you?
Um, there is no fashion if you’re naked? 38%
Just in case there was any doubt, this poll again reinforces the idea that dudes don’t really care that much about what you wear unless it involves a dramatic change in the amount of visible side boob .
Dress for each other, by all means, sexy ladies. But know that what most dudes learn to notice they are learning by rote. And chances are there are only two reasons they mention anything about your clothes or accessories. 1) They are in a relationship with you and have learned that noticing your new earrings makes you happy 2) They would like to touch your bare bouncy boobs and saying “Dang, that is a sweet blouse!” is the kind of thing they have learned will keep you at the bar for another drink.