[DW NOTE: For part one of this excellent tale of loss and redemption, see Dudefile #42 a few posts earlier. The DW would link directly, but Blogger is more stubborn than the DW’s 7 month old niece right now. (Link, damn you. Link!..)
Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. My good friend, who is a faithful DW reader and who initially directed me toward the shining beacon of your wisdom, suggested that I update you on my situation, as you are known to appreciate follow-ups. In sum, you were 100% right. Shocking, I’m sure.
Here’s what happened: a few weeks after I got your response, I went back to the bar where bartender dude and I had originally met. I knew he would be working. I made sure I looked really pretty. Bartender dude sees me, kind of freezes, then comes over sheepishly.
We make small talk, I’m pretty friendly and joke-y and laid back, then I finally ask him what his deal is, and why he stopped calling me. He says that he thought he was way more into me than I was into him, that he thought he would just be some fling before I went flitting back to the east coast, that he figured it was a good idea to get out before he got any more emotionally invested, that it was all sort of emotional insurance. I quietly corrected him, ensured him that I had, in fact, liked him, told him I hoped he had a good evening, and left.
Three weeks later, he texts me, asking if we can hang out again, even though he “fucked it all up to high hell.” I, stupidly or no, said yes. And now we’re dating. It seems to be going pretty well, he’s really sweet and clearly very very into me, although I do feel some implicit pressure to be uber-committed, since I had to convince him that he wasn’t just some random dude I would dump when the spring came, but I’m trying to quell the pressure and keep him from getting too serious too fast, because that’s clearly where his mind is headed.
Anyway, I’m having fun, and I like him, and I’m happy that I went back to the bar that night, and I would not have done it without your keen insight.
Rock on, friend.
See, now this is the kind of update that the DW seriously digs. It’s got all the elements.
1- Confirmation of DW genius.
2- A situation in which a dude actually appears to be a normal decent human.
3- A happy ending.
Okay, so the happy ending isn’t guaranteed, but the happy start is. Congrats on a dude who is really sweet and clearly very into you. You just made 87% of the DW’s readers wish they had your situation.
(PS- Don’t feel pressure! You didn’t promise him the next sixty years of your life, babydoll, you just promised to take him seriously and act in good faith and that’s all any dude can ask for. Be nice, give it an honest shot, see what happens next, y’know?)