Dudefile #74 – I Can’t Let Go… of His Penis

Hello Dude Whisperer,

I recently discovered that I’m a sex addict. As in, I’ll have sex even when it’s not so much fun. I’ll have sex with dudes I’ve just barely gotten to know- safe sex, but still. I’ve had sex with multiple married dudes. I’ve boned dudes that even while it was happening I thought to myself “WTF, ewwww.” Now that I’m aware of my problem, I’ve knocked off all this behavior I feel bad about while I get help for the problem.

That being said, I’ve kicked the habit with all but one dude. The one I’ve actually been “seeing” the longest. We don’t hook up that often, and I haven’t seen him in a while, but when we do- good lord! This dude is cute, has an authority figure job, and has just the right combo of total jerk and sweetie pie down pat. We’re casual friends, but 80% of our relationship is based on sex. Here’s the problem. Which I blame you for. Because I found the link on your blog that would let me make a mold of his cock.

I really don’t want to give up Mr. Hottie Authority Figure because he’s HUNG and is overall the best sexy times I’ve ever had. And when I say HUNG I mean naughty adult movies hung. But I know I should move on. So, my question is this. If I were to play with him one last time and get a mold of his dick- which he’s happily volunteered to make- what happens if I’m in a relationship later on? Will it cause issues with another guy if my fave sex toy is basically an exact copy of the bestest cock I’ve ever encountered? I’d like to have a souvenir when the day comes that I’m once again having sex for the right reasons.

Sincerely,

Reluctant to Completely Let Go


Hi there Reluctant,

A quick note about the sex addiction. Glad to hear you’re getting help. As the DW likes to mention from time to time, he may be a genius and a renaissance man and an extraordinary lover, but he’s not professionally qualified for anything. Listen to the advice you get from credentialed experts and be well.

On the subject of cock molds, however, the DW has many thoughts.

First, you have made the DW’s day. The DW has always maintained that if he could motivate just one reader to purchase a vibrating, anatomically correct replica sex toy of her favorite real life penis, the whole blogging endeavor would be worthwhile.

Second, the fact that Mr. Authority Figure agreed to lend his huge thang is so excellently predictable. If there’s one thing you can count on in life it’s a dude with a forearm for a dick being willing to show it off. Figure drawing models? Prodigious. Dudes who take their sweet time parading around the locker room? Swingin. You simply never walk in on a dude roommate and catch a glimpse of a teeny weenie. Dudes with wee ones hide those things like they were little squishy vampires that might catch flame in the light. What is it about dudes you sexy readers find so complicated, again?

Third, you’re right to think that Mr. Authority Figure, Jr. could cause an issue or two down the line. But those issues are easily skirted. Here’s how.

Say you’ve met a dude, you’re into him, things are going well. You’ve had some sex addiction help so instead of blowing the dude in a parking lot ten minutes after you met him you’ve kept it pants-on for a few dates. One night you invite him over for take-out and halfway through a shitty Netflix movie you realize the sweet sweet lovin’ is finally about to begin. Do not, at this time, reach into the top drawer and pull out that monstrosity.

Eventually? Sure. But maybe give it a romp or two or four without the toy first so your dude can sense you’re sufficiently enamored of him and his presumably human scaled penis. Once you’ve got a naked rapport, then you can introduce Big Boi like you’d introduce any other new twist in the sack, confidently and in a way that makes it fun for both of you.

What you don’t want to do, ever, is mention to your new dude that the toy is made from an actual cock you have known. This will not go well. Trust the DW, this is one of those times when not sharing the whole truth is best for everybody. Finding out your lady has a thing for a dinosaur dildo falls anywhere on a scale of manageable to awesome. But even the DW, a secure and levelheaded soul who has zero hang-ups about what the Wifey’s wifely parts may or may not have been up to pre-DW, would be positively stricken if the Wifey pulled out an old boyfriend’s cock she had immortalized in latex because she simply couldn’t let it go. It would feel awful just to touch the thing, let alone deploy it for duty. From that day forward the Ghosts of Hard-ons Past would haunt the bedroom. Awkwardness. Doubts. Questions. Bad times.

So by all means, take your mold, get your toy and have your fun. All you have to do is keep your little superhero’s origin story a secret and the rest should be smooth sailing.

Here’s to one day having both the cock of your dreams and the dude of your dreams.

Best,

the DW

 

This entry was posted in Reader Letters and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Dudefile #74 – I Can’t Let Go… of His Penis

  1. MJ says:

    As always, DW’s advice is awesome, spot on and to be heeded. BUT, being the proud owner of a “clone-a-willy” myself, I do have to toss in a few little cautions: those things are CLEARLY made from a real cock. You can see veins and shit. It’s scary how exact of a replica it is – possibly keeping it to yourself as long as you can, or saving it for when Mr. Right is not there might be a good idea. One other thing – those things tend to feel a whole lot bigger than the real thing – because they are a lot harder (I know, the real thing gets ‘hard’ but it’s still flesh/muscle and gives a bit more). The clones do not give. At all. My bf is actually the largest size I can handle, and his clone…well, it’s a tad too much for me!!! That said, I DEFINITELY recommend making one – it’s a pretty hysterical process and the end result is just a cool thing to own (and I very nearly sold it on ebay one time when we sort of broke up, but couldn’t bring myself to…and we got back together a few yrs ago – but had I ended up w/ another dude, I surely would have kept it hidden or gotten rid of it all together). It actually took us 2 tries (we had to buy more of the mold powder), because the first one didn’t work out – you have to be fast – mixing up the materials and shoving a hard cock in there immediately. That stuff sets up really quickly. Best to have him mix the stuff while you are ‘fluffing’ so that he’s good to go right away (it’s not a very sexy process, so he will probably need extra help).

    Happy replicating!!

    • This might be the most informative and helpful comment the blog has yet seen. Thanks, MJ!

    • marmot says:

      These are exactly all the questions I’ve been waiting to have answered about the Clone-a-Willy. Thank you comments-gal (or guy, but I’m guessing gal)! One last though: Since it’s latex, not silicone, how do you disinfect (or even just clean adequately for single-person multi-orifice use) that damn thing?

      DW, this is my favorite reader question and answer so far. Do I get to contribute towards the group effort of making your day if I say that I’ve been wanting to do this for a while but needed the technical advice of your comments section to speed me on my way?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s